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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157436">The Girl Next Door</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancynthia/pseuds/nancynthia'>nancynthia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Basketball, Christianity, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Kisses, LGBTQ Themes, Mentions of Becca, Mentions of Martha, Movie Night, Quarantine, Shoni - Freeform, Taki's Taki's Taki's, lots of anger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:54:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancynthia/pseuds/nancynthia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Wilds College is closing as a result of the pandemic. So the students are told to leave the campus and go home whenever possible. </p><p>Most of them pack their stuff and head home like it is holiday season. But Toni has nowhere to go. She stays. And Shelby could go anywhere, but she isn’t welcome elsewhere than there. She stays, with the girl next door.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>438</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Girl Next Door</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope this one-shot will help one or another to get through these hard times of covid and waiting for the announcement of a second season. Enjoy and stay safe!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Day Seven</em>
</p><p>It’s late into the evening, and yet Toni can’t think of anything but sitting on the edge of her bed with her legs apart and a Playstation controller in her Taki dust-covered hands for the rest of the night. </p><p>Pandemics suck. They suck as well as the missing basketball practice and the fact that she can’t visit her best friend Marty in Minnesota anytime soon. But it isn’t all bad. </p><p>After last year’s Hawaii trip a.k.a. the journey of self-discovery and finding your destiny bullshit, Toni is in her freshman year at the Wilds now, simply because she got a scholarship as the school’s best basketball player. </p><p>Toni still has no idea what’s her purpose in life (if there is one), but she had to choose a major. And what do you study if you never ever thought you’d study in your whole life and therefore don’t know what to do? You either study something irrelevant, something anyone could do, or something personal, something nobody could do the exact same way you do it. Toni chose the latter. </p><p>So she ended up with criminal justice as she had the silly thought that she could make a difference for people like her when she was a part of something. But the sad truth is, she isn’t a part of anything. She’s bad at studying and making friends, and she isn’t the best basketball player anymore.  Even in college, Toni doesn’t fit right in. </p><p>That’s why Toni kind of enjoys the silence lately. She likes to lay in bed while listening to the professors in her online classes. She likes that she got the basketball court all for herself, (though she also likes a good old competition). And she likes that no one gets on her nerves. Toni hasn’t been as calm as on day seven of quarantine in a long time, to be honest. </p><p>Except for the few times, Toni loses the game. </p><p>“Fuck!” She throws the controller angrily against her television before she gets up and grabs a drink. Seconds later, there’s a knock on the door of her dorm. Toni frowns at this but opens the door anyway. If she knew who it would be, she wouldn’t have answered the door, though. </p><p>“Hey, Toni,” Shelby says warmly as usual. “Since we are allowed to meet one other person on campus, and I haven’t seen someone visiting you, I thought we could have a movie night.”</p><p>“You…” Toni is dumbstruck. She wants to say no when Shelby shows three DVDs to her, excited as fuck. </p><p>“We’ve got Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, they are so much fun and Bend It Like Beckham because you are into sports and-“ Shelby clears her throat, blushing at her own words. “Girls.”</p><p>Out of anyone, Toni didn’t expect Shelby fucking Goodkind to knock on <em>her</em> door, asking <em>her</em> to hang out, and being this inappropriate while doing so. A movie night? She has to be kidding. Bend It Like Beckham, seriously? But Shelby is too optimistic as always, acting as if she would be the one Toni wants to spend her quarantine with, only because they live next door. </p><p>In Hawaii, Toni avoided Shelby after she said ‘it’s a sin to be a lesbian’. On-campus, Toni kept avoiding Shelby because she looked quite disgusted when Toni held hands with Regan and because she’s an annoying Christian after all. On top of that, Shelby seems to be a crazy stalker with a weird taste in movies. </p><p>Shelby, with the puppy eyes and ponytail, doesn’t give in. She is rather motivated by Toni’s overwhelmed face, smiling brightly at her. And Toni sighs. She has to admit that Shelby looks cute in her skirt, the yellow shirt, and the denim jacket. Besides, she desperately needs new video games to survive the lockdown. Otherwise, she’ll be bored in the evenings soon. And if her luck would get any worse and the stores do not deliver, Shelby could be a plan-b. </p><p>“Okay, one movie, just because I don’t want to die of boredom,” Toni points out as she opens the door for Shelby to enter. </p><p>Shelby’s eyes light up and she doesn’t hesitate to come in. “We should start with the Beckham movie then.” </p><p>“It’s not about Beckham,” Toni argues immediately before she realizes what else Shelby said. “And I agreed to one movie only!” </p><p>Shelby doesn’t respond since she stands awkwardly in the middle of Toni’s messy room, waiting for Toni to give instructions to her. “Take that chair,” Toni tells Shelby as she exits the video game. Toni can bear to be in the same room with Shelby, but she wouldn’t share a bed, <em>her</em> bed, with her. </p><p>“There is some coke and water in the fridge,” Toni says next, surprised by the hospitality for her enemy. She wouldn’t offer Shelby her holy Taki’s, though. </p><p>“Damn, it’s scratched like hell. What did you do to this poor movie?” Toni asks after she grabbed the DVD to put it into her Playstation. Did Shelby try to scratch the unchristian behavior out of it? </p><p>“Uhm, I don’t know, I borrowed it,” Shelby answers fast and takes the opportunity to change the topic to her favor. “But talking about hell, every religion has their version of hell. The Greek has Hades. Islam has Jahannam. Southern Baptists have the fire and brimstone kind.”</p><p>Toni takes a breath before she faces Shelby and sits down on her bed. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is hell, watching a movie with you,” she counters, causing Shelby to shut up about religion. </p><p>They are halfway through the movie without saying a word. Jess tries to accept life without football and throws herself into her sister’s wedding preparations when Shelby raises her voice. “So, you and Regan…” Toni glances over at Shelby, unsure if she wants to hear what garbage leaves her mouth next. “Are you?” Shelby wonders without finishing her sentence, but she is confident that Toni gets her. </p><p>“We are not," Toni hisses back, unable to keep her upcoming anger in check. It even dances across her brown eyes already. “She broke up with me. She couldn’t handle this long-distance thing any longer. That's what you want to hear, right? Are you and God satisfied now?”</p><p>Shelby opens her mouth to say something, but Toni forcefully cuts her off. “You still live next door to a lesbian and I’ll still haunt you in your fucking heterosexual dreams.” </p><p>“Sorry,” Shelby backs off. </p><p>There’s nothing else Shelby dares to say after Toni’s emotional outburst. And Shelby means it. She’s truly sorry, even though she didn’t suspect them to be separated. But it would be a lie if she’d say it’s no relief. It’s satisfying and cruel at the same time, she knows that. She’s a bad believer. </p><p>Both of them wordlessly focus on the television afterward. </p><p>When Jules and her mom leave Jess’s sister’s wedding and Jules is about to be accused of being a lesbian, Shelby breaks the silence once more. She notices carefully: “Your chair is kind of uncomfortable, how can you study in it for hours?” </p><p>Although Shelby laughs, it is hard to ignore what she implies. She doesn’t care about Toni being comfortable while studying. She just wants to join Toni here on the comfortable bed because most probably, Shelby isn’t used to uncomfortable. Toni’s bed is big enough, of course, but she refuses to take the hint. “I don’t study for hours,” she confesses. “And mostly, I study in bed.” </p><p>“Oh, okay.” Shelby nods as she turns in the old, squeaky chair to concentrate on the movie again. But in the end, she is too proud to accept being treated like this without talking back. “Do you think you could move over, at least a little? I don’t need much space.”</p><p>“No, Shelby,” Toni answers harsh, harsher than she intended, but it represents her mood. “I don’t think there’s enough space for your big Christian ass. Am I right? You know I’m right.”</p><p>Shelby instantly looks hurt by Toni’s unnecessary comment. “You don’t have to be rude,” She manages to say. </p><p>“You don’t have to be homophobic,” Toni states while the anger starts boiling underneath. “How do you even stand this movie or being in the same room with me? If you have to throw up, the bathroom is right there in your room.”</p><p>Shelby’s green eyes widen. “Are you kicking me out?” She asks in disbelief. </p><p>“Yeah, and I wish I could kick you out like Beckham!” Toni jumps out of her bed and kicks all the stuff that’s in her way, instead of Shelby. This was a bad idea. How could she let this homophobic, privileged bitch who kisses the Lord’s ass in here? How? She slams her fist against her Playstation, right against the button that opens the disc slot. “You asked for it.”  </p><p>That’s when Shelby rises from her seat too, clenching her fists, but without letting her emotions run wild as Toni does. “I didn’t ask for any of this, Toni,” She replies calmly, too calmly. The anger just radiates inside of her.</p><p>Shelby didn’t ask to be born as a lesbian into a Christian household. She didn’t ask to fall for the girl next door, who obviously hates her. She didn’t ask to be stuck on campus while everyone’s home. Shelby didn’t wait for an answer, she runs straight towards the door. This wasn’t what she had in mind when she thought of a movie night with Toni Shalifoe.</p><p>All Shelby wants is to leave this dirty room to go back into her closet. But she couldn’t get rid of the feeling that there are things left to say so she pauses in the doorway. “Just so you know, I don’t hate you, Toni. I like you. And I’m not disgusted by homosexuals. I-“</p><p>'I envy them, the outed ones,' she finishes in her thoughts. Then, she slightly shakes her head as she realizes that she doesn’t need to justify herself in front of Toni and politely closes the door behind her. </p><p>In the meantime, Toni falls back onto her bed, slack-jawed, and too surprised to process what just happened. At first, she pays no mind but replaces Shelby’s boring DVD to play some more video games as planned. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Day Fifteen</em>
</p><p>A few days later, Toni finally starts to wonder about one thing or two. She hasn’t seen Shelby during the last days, neither has she heard Shelby sing through the thin walls of her dorm. This is far from usual. Did she go home after all? Toni feels oddly sentimental since she’d be all by herself then, and she doesn’t know if she’d like that. Who knows for how long this quarantine would last. </p><p>At the latest, when Toni missed the basketball hoop twice this day, she decides to check on Shelby. It’s the least she can do, even if she never thought she’d ever do this. After she took a shower and before her class would start, Toni knocks on Shelby’s door this time. </p><p>“Hey, I-“ </p><p>“Thanks for bringing back my DVDs,” Shelby interrupts and grabs her movies out of Toni’s frozen hands. </p><p>She is about to close the door again when Toni moves and gets her foot in the door. “You persuaded me and now you’re the only one I’m allowed to meet here, legally, so do you want to finish the movie together, eventually?” Toni asks though it costs her some effort. </p><p>Shelby hesitates as she knows that another movie night could end just like the last one, and she isn’t quite sure if Toni’s company is worth the emotional stress. Maybe they should keep avoiding each other for good. </p><p>“Well, no worries,” Toni continues with a small smile. “The movie isn’t actually gay, you know.”</p><p>“I know. It’s not my first time watching it. I watched it so many times that it’s scratched like ‘hell’.” Shelby shyly smiles back at her neighbor. Most likely, she couldn't let go of Toni so easily, even if she wanted to.</p><p>As Toni’s hands casually slip into the pockets of her pants, she nods understanding. But she couldn’t figure Shelby out. “Is that a yes?” She asks again.  </p><p>“No, it’s a no,” Shelby speaks as she opens the door to free Toni’s foot.</p><p>Toni pulls a face because her concern for Shelby shifts to anger in a second. Who the hell does she think she is? Toni swallowed her pride. Toni cared. And what for? A goddamn rejection? From Shelby Goodkind? The one thing Shelby seems to be good at is starting things, but as it turns out, she isn’t brave enough to finish them. </p><p>“Watching movies isn’t our thing, obviously. We should try something else. How about playing some hoops on the school’s basketball court later?” Shelby offers, a grin falling from her lips. She knows basketball is to Toni’s liking. </p><p>The brunette licks her lips, incapable to communicate, unable to sort out her feelings at this point. Why was she mad about Shelby saying no? She should have been happy about a no. She doesn’t even like Shelby. And why is she happy about Shelby offering a basketball game now? She should be mad. Shelby is probably bad at it and will ruin everything again. </p><p>“My classes end at 3:00 p.m., and yours?” Shelby asks, fetching Toni back into reality. </p><p>“2:30,” Toni replies shortly. “Meet me on the court whenever you want.” Without another word, she walks away. </p><p>It is 3:19 p.m. when Shelby walks towards Toni who throws into the basket at this very moment. Shelby applauds to get the other one’s attention. Toni turns and says: “No, don’t clap for that.” Already at the beginning, Shelby screws up the game. </p><p>“What else can I do?” Shelby shrugs. </p><p>“You don’t have a clue how to play basketball,” Toni concludes. Shelby gives her a look that expresses that there isn’t the slightest of knowledge about basketball in the blonde’s pretty head. “I don’t get it. Why did you suggest it then?”</p><p>“The Lord helps those who help themselves which is why I suggested something you like since we did something I like the last time and it didn’t work out,” Shelby explains as she goes after the basketball. </p><p>“So Christ led your ass into this?” Toni asks, taking the ball from Shelby. “University and all this shit.”</p><p>“If I’m being honest, yes,” Shelby agrees to Toni’s vulgar assumption. </p><p>“But why are you here?” Toni easily makes another shot and Shelby forces herself not to clap her hands. “Aren’t you a delicate, indoor princess? Isn’t your life, with all those pillows in your mega bed waiting for you? And what about your perfect Christian parents?”</p><p>As Toni caught Shelby off guard, she bites her lip. Nonetheless, she considers telling the truth. Shelby is sick of being seen as a princess as if there is nothing else or nothing more valuable about her. Her family isn’t perfect, not at all, and Shelby isn’t perfect, too. But she is more than that like Toni is more than her constant anger. </p><p>Picking up the basketball and keeping it, Shelby starts: “My dad, he told me I can’t come home. I’d be a risk for the family and the church. I’ve been in contact with too many people on campus and I’d be in contact with too many people on the plane and train. That’s what my dad said, who runs a Christian fitness class and a bible study group, and none of the participants wears a mask, neither does he.”</p><p>“But you’re the risk?” Toni raises her brows while she reaches out for the basketball. “Sounds like bullshit. And lying’s a sin.” </p><p>“Lying is condemned, right, but it’s no deadly sin unlike wrath,” Shelby rights the wrong, causing Toni to roll her eyes at her. Toni feels attacked by the comment about wrath. She knows that she’s wrathful, but who’s Shelby to judge? As result, Toni rips the ball from Shelby’s hands. Her control is limited, always has been, always will be. </p><p>“Apart from that, I didn’t lie to you,” Shelby insists as her eyes follow Toni, who turned her back on Shelby. </p><p>“Shelby, I never said that,” Toni groans because she missed the basket again. This isn’t her best day. “Even though you lied to me about Bend It Like Beckham, I meant your dad. You don’t believe his shit, do you?”</p><p>“Oh,” Shelby makes a noise of realization. Does Toni believe her? How did that happen? “Uh, no, I know it’s a bad excuse.”</p><p>“Why is he such a dick, though? A Christian shouldn’t leave his daughter on a dead campus that is ruled by a lesbian,” Toni jokes as she hands the basketball over to a puzzled Shelby. “Try it.” </p><p>“Are you sure you want to hear the whole story?” Shelby questions Toni, nervously playing with the ball in her hands. “It contains religious stuff and asshole parents.” She chuckles, but when Toni looks at her, she keeps looking away to hide her anxiety about opening up to somebody. </p><p>Toni just whistles. “You say your prayers with that mouth?” But Shelby doesn’t think it’s funny.</p><p>“I-,” Shelby begins but pauses while she tries to return the basketball to Toni. “I’m not fishing for sympathy, but it has been hard.”</p><p>‘Hard’ is a trigger. ‘Hard’ is Toni’s life, everything she has been through and out of Shelby’s mouth it just sounds as ‘hard’ would be a fucking joke. “Okay, Becky, maybe don’t talk to me about hard.”</p><p>Sure, Shelby isn’t fishing for sympathy. She’s fishing for a punch in the face and right now, Toni is way too willing to give her what she asks for. But she holds onto the last piece of control that’s circling her body and takes a step back in thriving anger. She wouldn’t take the basketball from Shelby like this, she’d get it herself. She’d fight for it like she did her entire life. And she wouldn’t listen to a Barbie story where the biggest problem is the absence of a religious Ken. </p><p>Shelby frowns at Toni’s sudden tension, although she shouldn’t be surprised by it. Someone needs to open Toni’s eyes for the misery of others so Shelby decides to tell her everything. “Nobody believes me when I say this, but I do have actual problems, way more than you can imagine.”</p><p>“All right, great. Let’s hear ‘em.” Toni makes some sarcastic gestures with a straight face. Shelby pisses her off. </p><p>Shelby isn't blind, neither is she dumb. She gets that Toni isn’t serious, that she doesn’t want to listen to her to understand or to get to know her better. Toni wants to make fun of her to play down the seriousness of her problems and make them worth less than Toni’s.</p><p>“Do you have any idea how it’s like to have to be pitch-perfect every second?” She asks anyway. “To be watched like a hawk for the slightest bit of weight gain or the tinniest wobble in my heel or…or if my hem is just a centimeter off regulation or I say the wrong thing about international politics? Well, then God help me.” Shelby takes a deep breath with her eyes closed, sending a silent prayer. </p><p>“So you are complaining about being judged when you literally signed up for that,” Toni states the obvious, her voice filled with annoyance and complacency. </p><p>“I know. I- I know,” Shelby murmures as she slowly loses her strength. God, Toni is incredibly stubborn. “But I’m not just talking about pageant stuff. It feels like everywhere I go, somebody’s asking me to meet some kind of expectation.” </p><p>It’s Shelby’s first time talking about this and it feels like she walks right through purgatory. Her cheeks are burning while her hands are freezing from holding Toni’s stupid basketball. But all Toni does is looking at Shelby like she’d speak of a single hair in her twenty-dollar soup which turns out to be a hair of her own like it's nonsense and it doesn't matter. Does breaking her makes Toni feel good?  </p><p>Toni snorts in disrespect. “Yeah, well, my dad’s been a no-show since day one, and my mom’s in and out rehab like it’s the fucking White Castle. So nobody expects shit from me. Doesn’t feel great either,” She says and Shelby watches the pain flash over her face, a pain big enough to fill the campus.  </p><p>“Do you know how many field trips I’ve had to bail on ‘cause no one’s been there to sign my permission slip? I don’t give a fuck about going to the planetarium, you know. It just would’ve been nice to have someone there to say that I could.” Toni breathes as she wishes she would’ve met Martha earlier. It would’ve saved her a lot of trouble and hurt. </p><p>“Yeah, but-“</p><p>Toni stops Shelby before she could say something more stupid, something that would make Toni explode. “But what?” She snaps. “Shelby, if you’re trying to out-sad me, it’s a losing fucking battle.</p><p>To Shelby, there’s no battle so there’s no winner or loser either, just two girls who are different yet the same. But Toni is too ignorant to see that other’s struggle, too. On the other hand, Shelby gets that it’s the only thing Toni can hold onto, the only constant in her life. The moment, Shelby dares to speak again, she feels the pulse of her heart in her throat because she’d try to change Toni’s mind now. Toni would be better off concentrating on the nice things in life. “But you’re free. Don’t you see that? You don’t have to answer to anybody.” </p><p>“And neither do you. Not right now, anyway. I mean, you’re on a deserted campus hundreds of miles away from Texas and whatever bullshit expectations that you left behind. You’re free here, Shelby, and if you’re not taking advantage of that, then I don’t know what the fuck to tell you. Like, throw this damn basket-”</p><p>Shelby indeed throws the damn basketball, but just to the ground. She needed her hands to grab Toni by her angry face and kiss her. It is one kiss only, one kiss that seems like a second but lasts like half a minute at least. </p><p>Toni lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as she realizes the situation and acts on it. But when she wants to place her hands on the other one’s waist, Shelby pulls away, looking like a deer in the highlights and worse. She runs off. </p><p>“Shelby! Wait,” Toni calls out. It was pointless, though. Nevertheless, Toni runs after her, all over campus. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Day Twenty-Two</em>
</p><p>One week ago, Toni wasn’t fast enough to catch up with Shelby before she could lock herself in her dorm room for seven days by now. But every day after that, Toni knocked on her neighbor’s door to talk about that kiss. They haven’t talked yet, but Toni is surprisingly optimistic because to this day, Shelby hasn’t sung a word. However, she is singing Pink’s ‘Raise Your Glass’ right now so Toni walks over for her daily knock. </p><p>“I can hear you, Shelby,” Toni shouts as she decides that she wouldn’t leave today, not until she knows that Shelby’s okay in there. “I’ll sleep on your doorstep if necessary!”</p><p>Silence. </p><p>Toni sighs while she sits down in the hallway across from Shelby’s room. She should’ve brought Taki’s for this. But luckily, just minutes later, Shelby finally opens her door. </p><p>“So you’ve heard me singing for almost a year now?” She asks with a rosy red on her cheeks. Toni nods amused. “You never told me to stop.”</p><p>“You never told me to stop yelling at my TV. Nah, I didn’t want to go talk to you,” Toni admits as she gets back on her feet. </p><p>“I get it,” Shelby replies coldly and shows a crooked smile to the one in front of her. “You don’t want to talk to me and I’m a bad singer. I won’t bother you any longer, on both accounts.” The smile vanishes and brings out one of the saddest facial expressions Toni has ever seen. When she manages to move her lazy ass, it’s too late. Shelby is back in her room, the door closed, and Toni gets the feeling it will be even harder to open it again than it has been before. </p><p>“Fuck, Shelby,” Toni curses, but she’s just angry at herself at this moment. “I didn’t mean to- Fuck. Your singing, it’s sweet actually. I liked ‘Thrift Shop’ the most. But I’m okay with everything, just don’t stop singing, you know?” </p><p>For a while, Toni’s hands rest on Shelby’s door but nothing happens. She fucked it up before it even started. As Toni removes her hands, they end up in fists. She’s so angry that there’s a shroud of tears in her eyes and her nails would draw blood in her palms if they weren’t lesbian-short.  </p><p>After Toni destroyed some of her belongings, she takes her favorite Taki’s and places them in front of Shelby’s door with a note that says ‘Big Sorry :(’. </p><p>Hours later, around midnight, Toni still lays in her bed awake. The campus is so damn quiet, it’s scary, but Toni’s thoughts are loud, too loud and confusing for her to handle them. Fortunately, she then hears something familiar that distracts her. Shelby’s voice.  </p><p>
  <em>“I’m gonna pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket. I, I, I’m huntin’, lookin’ for a come up.”</em>
</p><p>But Toni notices that something is different, louder, clearer, closer, and maybe in front of her door. She swears she wouldn’t miss Shelby again so she gets up as quick as possible, nearly falling over all the stuff that plasters her floor.</p><p>“This is frickin’ awesome,” Shelby ends the line with a soft, almost apologetic smile on her pink lips as Toni throws open her door. “Did you just say that to make me feel better?”</p><p>“When would I ever do that?” Toni questions as she exhales relieved and Shelby seems more at ease as well.</p><p>“Thank you for the Taki’s, by the way.”</p><p>“Thanks for the serenade.” </p><p>This is the first time ever that they both genuinely laugh at the same thing. And that’s when Toni acknowledges that Shelby’s not that bad. She just deals with other demons than she does, but they’re still ugly demons. And girls should support one another because it's easier to fight demons together. </p><p>“Do you want to come in? I bet I have some more Taki’s somewhere,” Toni drawls as she looks over her shoulder and at her mess. </p><p>“How could I say no to this? I’m coming in.” Shelby slowly passes Toni, who is braced against the door, and secretly breathes her in. </p><p>This time, they sit together on the bed, eating Taki’s by turns while they’re making fun of themselves and their shitty behavior over the last weeks. But suddenly, Shelby gets the vibe that Toni is laughing at her again. “What? What’s funny?” She asks concerned.</p><p>“You have a- you’ve just got a-,” Toni stutters through her chuckles, but she reaches out to wipe away some Taki dust at the corner of Shelby’s mouth.</p><p>Toni has never been good at flirting, plus she isn’t entirely sure if Shelby wants her to flirt with her or if their kiss was an experiment, a one-time thing. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. Nobody says anything nor as Shelby leans in to kiss Toni in a gentler way than before, her hands cupping Toni’s cheeks again. </p><p>So it isn’t a one-time thing, but Toni still likes to be sure. Before she kisses Shelby back, she asks: “Are you sure?” Her voice sounds a little insecure herself as if she fears Shelby would say no. She is used to no’s. She wouldn't be surprised but hurt. </p><p>At first, Shelby doesn’t reply but kisses Toni again. And when they break apart, they stay close, forehead to forehead, while Shelby’s nose brushes over Toni’s in silence. For a while, Toni listens to her heartbeat which is unusually fast and almost painful, but it reminds her of how she is supposed to feel, not angry but good, alive. And her heart nearly jumps out of her chest as Shelby finally answers.</p><p>“I’m sure.” She whispers against Toni's mouth. </p><p>Right after, their lips meet in another slow, but passionate kiss that shows how sure they are. Then, they just part to take their clothes off and to breathe, occasionally. </p><p>During this night, Toni not only got to know Shelby’s body but her soul, too. Shelby told her the whole story, about her first female love interest, Becca, and how this turned out; and about her father who sent her to Hawaii, not to find out what to study, but to find back to her heterosexuality and faith. When Shelby was still into girls after she came back, her father decided to find her a college that was far away. That’s how the lesbian Christian ended up here, in the arms of the girl next door and they couldn’t be happier about the outcome. </p><p>As Toni wakes up, Shelby’s already dressed. But she doesn’t look like she’s about to leave this time and Toni’s not mad at all.</p>
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